How to become a person with high emotional intelligence?

1. Never use rhetorical questions.

For example, when you print a document, and your boss says, “Why did you only print one copy?”
If your boss rephrases it to say that the document needs to be printed in two copies, which do you find easier to accept?

Another example: you're in a hurry to leave and suddenly can't find your keys.
Your partner asks, “Did you leave the keys in the bathroom again?”
If she rephrases it as “Please check the bathroom,”
the latter sounds much more comfortable.

Psychology explains that rhetorical questions inherently carry an aggressive tone and a hint of contempt.
Therefore, in communication, be cautious when using rhetorical questions.

2. During conversations, give the other person what they want in a timely manner.

People who like to show off often seek praise, so flatter and compliment more.
Indecisive people want courage, so affirm and encourage more.
People with unclear logic want clarity, so summarize and organize for them.
Impulsive individuals desire efficiency, so be concise, direct, and save their time.

3. Relatives or friends ask you to do something, but you're worried about damaging the relationship or feel embarrassed to refuse. What to do?

Express your stance + Collaborate + Set boundaries

Step 1: Express your stance
“Alright, don’t worry. With such a close relationship, I will do my best to help.”

Step 2: Collaborate
“This matter is indeed very important. I think we should ask a few more people, divide the efforts, and ensure the task is thoroughly completed.”

Step 3: Set boundaries
“Please don’t feel obliged to thank me. Helping is part of our good relationship. But if it doesn’t work out, please don’t blame me.”

This approach both shows respect and leaves yourself an exit. Even if it doesn’t succeed, the other person won’t feel comfortable blaming you.

4. How to speak so that you appear humorous and likable?

The 1+1 Rule
It’s about complimenting and then adding more praise.

For example, when someone helps you, you might say:
“You’re so good-looking, and on top of that, your work is so charming. No wonder you’re so popular.”

When giving advice to others, also apply the 1+1 rule.
First affirm, then suggest—don’t give advice directly.
For example, during a meeting, if a colleague wants to suggest something, they might say:

Always remember, in speech and actions, to first align with the other person’s nature, satisfy their needs, so they can reciprocate and satisfy yours, and you’ll thrive like a fish in water.