People with a pleasing personality are actually slaves successfully trained by their parents. The first type is the inversion of the parent-child relationship. In a normal family, parents should take care of the child's emotions and pay attention to the child's emotional needs. However, in families with pleasing personality children, the situation is exactly the opposite. The child has to soothe the parents' emotions, and the parents expect the child to center around them. Think about it, when a child is forced to take care of their parents' emotions for a long time, over time, they become accustomed to putting others' feelings first in interpersonal relationships. Therefore, this group of people is usually highly sensitive, particularly good at observing others' negative emotions, and always tries to take care of others, but often neglects their own emotions and feelings.

The second type is when parents arbitrarily invade their children's boundaries. We say that in a normal family, parents should protect the space for their children's growth, allowing them to freely explore and establish personal boundaries. However, many controlling parents aggressively encroach on their children's space. For example, some parents often go through their children's diaries, enter their rooms without knocking, and over time, the child's autonomy is dismantled. In society, they may not dare to defend their own boundaries, so many people choose to concede and retreat when faced with conflict. Thus, this intergenerational transmission of control not only plays out within the family but also unconsciously manifests in the external world, forming a vicious cycle.

The third type is that some parents use obedient, understanding, filial, and grateful combinations of PUA. The essence of all these behaviors is to make the child more controllable. So many children unconditionally care for their parents' emotions, and when they feel wronged, they do not argue or make a fuss. Long-term compliance and submission are just to hear a compliment from their parents, like, 'Ah, my child is really understanding.' You see, this is a kind of obedience that has been repeatedly trained; it is not a heartfelt choice of the individual. We often see some parents emphasizing to their children, 'I sacrificed for you, I dedicated myself for you,' demanding gratitude and filial piety from their children in return. They create a sense of moral debt, often positioning themselves on a moral high ground in the parent-child relationship. However, the child remains in a long-term state of owing their parents. Additionally, some parents always emphasize gratitude, indicating that their love is very harsh and comes with conditions. For example, some parents often say that their children need to make them proud and be excellent enough, which leads to children lacking the nourishment of unconditional love from a young age. It becomes very difficult for them to establish true self-confidence within themselves, and they often do not dare to face conflicts.

The fourth type is to belittle, deny, suppress, and destroy a child's self-esteem. Many parents often cling to their children's mistakes in the name of love, belittling and suppressing them. Over time, the child will internalize this denial and feel useless. Many parents use this method to elevate themselves in the relationship, while the child loses their individuality and autonomy, ultimately becoming a hollow slave who obeys orders. Therefore, you see that children with damaged self-esteem often become exceptionally sensitive in interpersonal relationships. They are always overly concerned about others' words and actions, fearing being disliked, so they habitually overinterpret what others say and do. As a result, many pleasing personalities experience social interactions as a drain on their energy. That’s why we say that many pleasing personalities often accompany social anxiety. However, from a psychological perspective, this is a form of self-protection. Pleasing personalities are essentially slaves successfully trained by their parents. The first type is the inverted parent-child relationship. In a normal family, parents should care for their children's emotions and attend to their emotional needs. However, in families with pleasing personality children, the situation is exactly the opposite. The child has to comfort the parents' emotions, and parents expect the child to center everything around them. Imagine if a child is forced to care for their parents' emotions for a long time, then over time in interpersonal relationships, they will get used to prioritizing others' feelings. Therefore, this group of people is usually highly sensitive, particularly good at observing others' negative emotions, and always tries to care for others, while often neglecting their own emotions and feelings.

The second type is when parents will arbitrarily infringe on their children's boundaries. We say that in a normal family, parents should protect their children's growth space, allowing them to explore freely and establish personal boundaries. However, many controlling parents aggressively invade their children's space. For example, some parents often read their children's diaries, enter their rooms without knocking, and over time, the child's autonomy is undermined. In society, they do not dare to defend their boundaries, which is why many people choose to concede or retreat when faced with conflict. Therefore, this intergenerational transmission of control patterns not only plays out within the family but also unconsciously presents itself in the outside world, forming a vicious cycle.

The third type is that some parents use obedient, understanding, filial, and grateful tactics as a form of PUA. The essence of all these behaviors is to make the children more controllable. So many children unconditionally care for their parents' emotions; when they feel wronged, they do not argue or make a fuss. Long-term appeasement and compliance are just to hear a compliment from their parents, like, "Oh, my child is really understanding." You see, this is a kind of compliance that has been repeatedly trained; it is not a heartfelt choice by the individual. We often see some parents emphasizing to their children what? "I sacrificed for you, I devoted myself for you," asking the children to be grateful and filial in return. They create a sense of moral indebtedness, positioning themselves in a morally superior stance within the parent-child relationship. However, the children remain in a long-term state of feeling indebted to their parents. Then there are some parents who always emphasize gratitude. They constantly indicate that their love is very harsh and comes with conditions. For example, some parents often say that their children need to bring honor to themselves and be excellent enough, which leads to the children lacking the nourishment of unconditional love from an early age. They find it difficult to build true self-confidence within themselves, and often do not dare to confront conflicts.

The fourth type is to belittle, deny, suppress, and destroy a child's self-esteem. Many parents often hold onto their child's mistakes in the name of love, belittling and suppressing them. Over time, the child internalizes this denial and begins to feel worthless. Many parents use this method to elevate themselves in the relationship, causing the child to lose their individuality and autonomy, ultimately becoming a hollow slave who obeys orders. Therefore, you see that children with damaged self-esteem often become excessively sensitive in interpersonal relationships. They are always overly concerned about others' words and actions because they fear being disliked, so they habitually overinterpret what others say and do. As a result, many people with pleasing personality traits find socializing to be an inward struggle. Thus, we often say that many people with pleasing personalities frequently experience social anxiety. However, from a psychological perspective, this is a form of self-protection.